You Had Me at Hello?
Most first messages sent on dating sites go unanswered, so how can you beat the odds and get a response? Most online daters receive numerous emails from potential suitors, so your message needs to stand out in the crowd. Follow these tips to ensure that the object of your desire replies to you.
- Ask a question in the message title, such as “How’s it going?” or “What did you think of the Astros game?” if they say they are a fan in their profile. People are more likely to respond if someone asks them a question. “Hello” and “Hi, I’m Sam” just don’t grab someone’s attention in a sea of emails.
- Don’t put too much emphasis on how attractive the person looks in their profile photo. These comments don’t trigger further conversation, and the woman with the striking green eyes has already been told thousands of times how beautiful her eyes are.
- Comment on a hobby or other information from their profile, like how you share their interest in surfing or theater. This gives them a topic to explore in their reply to your message.
- Use correct spelling and grammar, and avoid writing shorthand that is used in many online chat conversations. Read your message out loud before hitting the send button to make sure your sentences makes sense.
Rules for Texting in the Dating World
Text messaging seems like it’s here to stay, so love it or hate it, texts are now something to contend with in the dating world. According to a survey conducted by AT&T, seventy-four percent of respondents between the ages of 18-35 had flirted via text messaging, and sixty percent of respondents between the ages of 36-55 had done the same. So if text messaging is going to be a part of dating life, we should adhere to some texting etiquette.
Texting can be a great addition to your communication when dating, but should be used with restraint and not in all circumstances. Communicating via text message with a new love interest can rob you of the facets of communication that are so important to forging a relationship with someone. Phone calls are full of nervous giggles, spontaneous responses, sighs, tone and inflection of voice. Take these things away from communication, and you are missing out on a large part of getting to know a potential mate.
Limit your texts to short exchanges of information, as texts should not be a full conversation. If you have more than a few words to say to each other, pick up the phone. Also, don’t expect someone to always answer your texts right away. People have busy lives, and not everyone keeps their phone by their side all the time. In addition, if the majority of your communication with a new love interest is over text, beware. That person may not be serious about dating you if the conversation doesn’t progress to phone calls or face-to-face contact soon, so move on if texts are the extent of your relationship.
Be careful of your tone when texting, because sarcasm can easily be misconstrued over text. You don’t want to have to explain to someone that you are trying to date that you weren’t being serious with your snarky remark. Try to limit texting lingo too, because not all of us feel like decoding messages like “ROFLMAO C U L8R.”
Never ask someone out on a first date over text message. This is cowardly and rude, and sends the message that you don’t consider the person important enough to spend a few minutes on the phone asking them for a date. Pick up the phone and call, risking rejection like a grown-up. Perhaps more importantly, do not end a relationship, no matter how short-lived, via text. This is just as unforgivable as when Carrie’s boyfriend on “Sex and the City” broke up with her on a post-it note.
If we all know it’s rude to talk on the phone during a date, why do some people think it’s acceptable to text while on a date? It’s really no different, so put the phone down and give your date the courtesy of your full attention.
Text messaging does have its benefits in the realm of dating. Texting can be great for telling someone after a date that you enjoyed your time together, or for letting someone know that you’re running a few minutes late. If you keep common courtesy in mind and realize that texting has its place and time, you will navigate texting in the world of dating just fine.
