Cough, Sniffle, Love
We are in the middle of cold and flu season - illness is spreading like wildfire at the office, my nails are in a horrible state from the excessive hand washing and hand sanitizer use, and I wasn’t lucky enough to escape the bug this season. I don’t enjoy January. However, let’s look on the bright side of the season. If you’re seeing someone new, getting sick can be a great litmus test for your relationship.
The first time you’re stuck in bed feeling and looking miserable and your love interest brings over your favorite miso soup, some movies, and a stack of trashy magazines, you know this one’s a keeper. This person shows that he cares about you, and is willing to show up when you are not going to be much fun.
If we’re considering a person for a long term relationship, most of us want someone who will take care of us down the line when we have surgery, give birth, or even have to deal with a serious illness. So, take note of how they deal with smaller situations now, because it’s a good preview to how they will handle the big stuff down the line.
Don’t Forget Your Friends
Many of us have had a friend who has virtually disappeared once he or she got into a relationship. Maybe we have been that person who spends so much time in couple-land that we have neglected our friends.
It can be easy to get wrapped up in a new relationship and to let other relationships fall by the wayside. You’re in the time warp of new love, you want to be around this person as much as possible, and nothing else seems to really matter. Well, your friendships do matter. Make an effort to come up for air and spend some time with your friends.
Sometimes a man just needs time with the guys, and a woman needs some girl time with her ladies. Of course you can bring your partner along to spend time with your friends and vice versa, but every so often your friends want to see you without your other half. You will also have more to talk about with your mate if you each have separate social experiences.
Most people stay attracted to someone who is independent and does not rely on them to fulfill all of their social needs. It can feel like too much of a burden if your partner never has any other plans but to hang out with you, and it gets boring pretty quickly. Call up your friends and let someone have a chance to miss you!
Love and Sacrifice
Last night on the new season of “The Bachelor” the host asked the bachelor Jake, who is a pilot and loves to fly for fun, if he would give up flying if he fell in love with a woman who didn’t like airplanes. Jake said yes, he would choose love over flying if he had to pick one. He had the look of a little boy whose puppy just ran away and he was surely just saying what he thought we wanted to hear, but it brings up an interesting question. Is it really worth it to give up a passion of yours for love?
In my opinion, you should not have to give up your favorite hobby just because your mate doesn’t like it. This of course excludes anything that harms yourself or others, is illegal, or just plain stupid. If you had this passion before you two got together, then your new partner should accept your hobby as part of the deal. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t love you just the way you are? If you were to quit this passion of yours, you will just end up resenting your partner.
However, spending too much time on a hobby can strain a relationship. We often spend more time and money on a hobby when we are single, and may need to cut back a little when we enter into a relationship. If you spend all day playing video games (and you’re not a video game producer), you’re probably going to have a tough time holding on to relationships. Make sure you invest enough energy in activities that you and your partner can enjoy together.
