Getting Along With the Friends
Entering into a relationship with someone involves experiencing that person’s world and finding your place in it – their daily routine, favorite hangouts, television shows, family, and friends. Comingling your life with someone else’s can be challenging enough, but what if you don’t like one (or more!) or your new partner’s friends? Your guy or gal has had these relationships for a long time before you came into the picture, so you’ll need to cope if you want your relationship to survive. You don't have to adore all of his or her friends, but it is important to make the best of the situation.
First, try not to judge too soon. Many people don’t make a good first impression, but once you get to know them better your opinion may change. Your mate’s friend may have underlying reasons in the beginning for not getting along with you in the beginning, such as being protective of their friend or seeing you as a threat to their football watching party every Sunday. Hang in there.
Also, make an attempt to find common ground with this person. Spend some time talking together if you can, and you may find a way to better get along. Maybe you share a particular interest or have the same wicked sense of humor.
Make sure you give your new partner space to hang out with his or her friends without you tagging along every time. This lets both of them know that you are not trying to come between them, as well as sending the message to your partner that you understand that friendships are important. As a bonus, you won’t have to spend as much time with this person whose company you don’t enjoy.
Whatever you do, do not try to pull your partner away from this friend. This plan usually backfires, or at the very least strains your relationship and prevents any peaceful coexistence between you and the friend.
Of course, this advice does not apply if your significant other’s friend is someone you feel unsafe around, or is breaking the law, or anything else that puts either of you in danger. If this is the case, you may need to have a serious talk with your partner and perhaps question whether you need to be a part of this circle of friends at all. They say birds of a feather flock together, so if you think your mate’s close friend is a bad person, your current Mr. or Ms. Perfect may not be so perfect after all.
