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Lessons Learned From a Bad First Date

A friend of mine recently went on a pretty miserable first date, and I thought I’d share her bad experience to point out some dating don’ts.  You might also get a few laughs out of the story like I did.

She met the man at a bar, and they barely talked to each other before her friends made her give him her number.  While talking on the phone later that week, he asked her to dinner.  He insisted on picking her up, and she relented after he insisted.

Once he picked her up for their date, he told her he had forgotten his wallet and would she mind if they stopped at his house to pick it up.  She didn’t feel comfortable with this since she barely knew him, but said ok anyway.  He then gave her the tour of his house, and at this point she knew this was no love match.  His living room and bedroom were covered in Star Wars posters and action figures, much like Andy in “The 40 Year-Old Virgin.”  Now, I understand there are some ladies out there who would not be bothered by this, but my friend is not one of them.

Next, the two shared an awkward dinner at a chain restaurant.  They did not have much in common, and she was ready to call it a night.  Instead, he insisted they go to his favorite karaoke bar.  Since she is much nicer than I am, she finally agreed when he wouldn’t let it go.  Remember, he was her ride so she felt stuck.  The karaoke bar was even more painful than dinner.  He sang bad song after bad song with little talent and even less personality, hardly sitting with her at all. 

Finally, my friend’s bad night was going to end.  When they arrived at her place, he shifted the gear to park and asked if he could kiss her.  She told him that she doesn’t kiss on the first date (a little white lie), thanked him for the evening, and tried not to sprint to her door.

What can we learn from this dating disaster? 

1. Meet your first date at a public place if you don’t know them well.  It’s a lot easier and safer to get out of bad situations if you have your own transportation.
2. Never go to someone’s house on a first date.   You could find yourself in an unsafe predicament, and you might learn too much too soon about your date.
3. Let your freak flag fly by all means, but it’s better to share it once you know someone better.
4. On a date, pay attention to verbal and nonverbal communication.  If your date doesn’t seem interested in continuing the date, don’t try to pressure the person.  You are not going to pressure someone into liking you.
5. Don’t put on a performance on a first date, and force your date to watch you for an extended period of time.  A first date is for getting to know each other as people, not performers.
6. Gentlemen, don’t ask a woman for a first kiss.  This is a big turn-off.  A woman will let you know with her body language if she wants a kiss, so tune in to how she responds to you and go from there.
7. Dating is an awkward adventure, and most of us have to endure some bad dates between the really good ones.  Keep a sense of humor about it all, and have fun out there!